I had a Facebook friend write to me today, struggling, so I thought I'd post the message I sent her, to give you a glimpse of how I work my eating plan. Three years into maintenance, I still plot out my eating strategy like a chess player. To do otherwise, would be a recipe for regain.
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this will be long...
The heavier you are, the easier it is to lose weight. My first 47 lbs came off like "normal" people (2 lbs / wk). After that it became very difficult, but with the up dn pattern, I continued to lose. I had a 3 month plateau, but during that time, my hips were shrinking. I cried a lot. Now I look back, I know that was silly because of my hips.
I bought a food scale almost from the beginning. I use that religiously. I have even brought measuring cups and spoons when I've gone out to eat. I must be as accurate as possible, so that there's no deceiving myself.
I'm 55, 5'6.5", goal weight hit was 164. I quit because my face just got too gaunt. Meanwhile, my hips are 42", size 12s are snug, 14s too big. I'm smaller than I was at age 11. Good enough!
If your goal's to get very small, I am not a good one to give advice. I stopped trying to go lower in weight because I don't want to look haggard, but I certainly could afford to lose more weight in my hips (only!). At the same time, I am enjoying eating, averaging 1700 calories, though I must keep doing the up / dn pattern, 100 g protein, walk religiously 6 days a week, work on being NEAT. My metabolism would be much lower if it weren't for these things.
NEAT: https://www.acefitness.org/acefit/healthy-living-article/60/3757/the-n-e-a-t-way-to-exercise/
The main thing I do is to keep track of my calories (as accurately as humanly possible) like a checking account, keeping to the average of 1700 calories. If I eat a lot one day, I don't weigh, often putting off weighing until I have "saved" up enough calories to make my balance zero. Even in maintenance my calories vary a lot (i.e. 700 / 1700 / 1000 / 1700 / 500 / 3000 (planned cheat) / 500 / 1500 / 700, etc.) keeping track of the calories, balancing the account. Mark it down, if my calorie account balance is up, the scale is up. I don't even have to get on the scale to know when the scale is up or down with this method.
Some would think this ridiculous, but it works for me. I need something to work for me, right? And I don't mind it. If I'm struggling more on a particular day, I eat something as low calorie as possible to alleviate the pressure. It may be a 40 calorie slice of lunch meat, or a 40 calorie Popsicle fudge bar. I don't often end up blowing it, but I have. If I do, I truthfully list the calories in my journal, and then throw in varying degree calorie DDs, interjecting them with my TDEE 1700 calories to ease the diet pressure, followed by a DD. I never EVER just let 'er rip for a few days, let alone a week.
I have a lot of stress with family, beginning over a year ago, spiraled, gained 19 pounds. I'm still working on getting off the last 4 lbs. I do not lie to my diet journal. What I put into this lifestyle, is what I get out of it. Stress makes this much more difficult, but with CAD, it makes it a bit less stressful. I NEED carbs. :)
If none of this opens your eyes, it may be that your TDEE is lower than what you're assuming. That is very discouraging. I'd think that the up and dn pattern would help rev your metabolism, BUT I suppose there comes a point where you can't rev it anymore. If you have an idea of what you've eaten during this stressful time, you may instinctively know your TDEE. It is hard to admit. It was for me, too.
Not sure if I helped at all. I am obsessive about all of this. In the end, it is about calories in calories out, with the understanding that 1000 calories of donuts is burned less efficiently than 1000 calories of meat, for example. The healthier the food, the better your body burns it, the more you can eat in the end. So by my consuming 100+ g protein on UDs, with my DDs very low carb, I end up with a moderate level of carbs. I tend to lean toward a lower fat diet, because I don't believe the media's current fad that "fat is where it's at". I have plenty of fat in my rear, that additional fat is not necessary, nor does it provide the satiety diet gurus are forever touting. Protein works for me far better. Dr. Now of "My 600 lb Life" agrees with me on the fat issue. In his Book "Last Chance to Live", he states low carb, low fat, high protein.
It has been hard for me, continues to be challenging, but we each have to find out what works best for us. I do feel as though it couldn't be much harder for anyone than it has been for me, but then I hear your story. I am a foodie. I love donuts, I love Lucky Charms. I let myself have them, BUT I always follow those days up with paying the piper. It seems like a vicious circle, but it works. The up and dn pattern is easier on my nerves than eating a stable amount every day. My TDEE is 1700, and sometimes, that is just NOT enough for my brain. So I interject with a planned cheat. One of those every week or 2 or 3 gives me the oomph to carry on... until the next cheat. Afterward, I create deficits to counteract the overage. I'm whittling at 4 lbs I'm still up (from over a year ago), slowly, because those 500 calorie days are a killer for me anymore.
