I'm always struggling, trying to find an easier way, where I can have my cake and eat it, too. Okay, I'm like an alcoholic - carboholic. I'm seriously getting to the point where I realize eating what I want, when I want is just not reality.
Again, feeling at my whit's end, I went to my old standby "The Stress Eating Cure" by Drs. Hellers, and again, I'm comforted. Her emotions and struggles are identical to mine. Really, so very uncanny.
So, I decided to go back to that. Almost immediately whenever I come back, I start to feel great, in control. Somewhere along the line I veer, fueled by the 3 year old toddler wanting my own way, to be able to eat what I want, when I want. It's been 6 days, and I feel so much better. This is the method that makes me feel the best. I did drop the ADF for now, to see if I could get my inner emotions over all this, which does consume me, calmed. And it works as far as my mind, gut are concerned, not necessarily for weight loss. I need to go back to ADF in some shape or form, as it helps keep my metabolism at its highest potential. But for today and maybe another week, I'm going to stay with SEC. Calorie counting, keeping at 100 g protein daily, under the umbrella of SEC.
I spend far too much time feeling jittery, unsatisfied. Almost trembling to control myself, to keep from falling over the cliff into mountains of carbohydrates. Much of what brought Dr. Heller to the SEC plan I could've written. I am not succinct. I just know I feel "icky"; science is not my forte. Anyway, I believe this is me. I just need to stay near to this plan, in order to keep my sanity. I am like an alcoholic. I will never be normal. So what? If that's true, and so far my gut tells me nothing's going to be normal about my brain/gut EVER, I should just settle down and do it. (I play a lot of mind games. I never have a "normal" day, whether I am being "good" or overeating.)
I often switch things, but none calms me like SEC or the BBD ("Big Breakfast Diet", PCOS doctor Daniela Jakubowicz).
One thing that BBD tells you is to eat lunch whether you're hungry or not. I've never taken that to heart, until now. Always, in my head is "don't eat unless you're hungry", but I believe she may be right. She says, eat now, to prevent wanting to eat carbs later. Another prime example of media fueled expertise that is false to someone like me.
Going back to the morning carb eating is rather like a duck in water. It just feels calming. Please remind me of this when I struggle again? So thankful for Rachael Heller who invented a wheel I don't need to reinvent.
Dr. Heller mentioned in the book that she, too, felt as though just doing CAD is a matter of self control. By the time she wrote SEC, she finally realized that's not just it. There's more to this struggle than simple math. Maintenance does not get easier with time.
But for the grace of God, go I.
